The Darkest Hour 2D

The dullest movie in any D.

The end.

Top Films 2011

1. Melancholia

2. Senna

3.Troll Hunter

4. The Guard

5. Rise Of the Planet Of The Apes

6. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

7. Friends With Benefits

8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2

9. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

10. The Adjustment Bureau

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - David Fincher version

Taken as a stand alone film, it is excellent. Taken as a remake of the original Swedish version, it is ok, not great. It is difficult, if you have seen the original not to compare the two. There are many scenes which are taken almost directly from the original.

What I really didn't like is the sentimentality of the remake, although I have been told that this is in the book. Lisbeth is such a strong, uncompromising character because of what has happened to her, I find it very difficult to believe Lisbeth would think that Blomqvist was the answer to her issues, even briefly.

Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara are excellent as is Skarsgaard. I do hope they decide to make the other two films otherwise it feels like a damp squib.

If you haven't seen the Swedish version, I think you will enjoy more.

Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol

I do like the Mission Impossible films - don't like Tom Cruise mind you, but he does understand the franchise, and oh that music!

Mission Impossible at the IMAX is almost orgasmic. If I could afford to and they made each film for IMAX, I would watch every single movie there. Gone are the days of needing those 3D type glasses. It is such an immersive experience, I felt myself being drawn into each scene. I could almost smell the places in the film - Budapest, Moscow, Dubai - simply marvellous. I am gushing.

Oh how I want to see Inception at the IMAX.

Anyhoo back to the story. I don't really remember what the story was about - something to do with the Kremlin and a bomb for some extraneous reason.

The interaction between Cruise, Simon Pegg (my boys were laughing hysterically at his scenes), Jeremy Renner (excellent) and Paula Patton (the scenes with Anil Kapoor are hysterical) made for a nice ensemble cast.

You have to suspend disbelief, but that does have a limit - the sandstorm hits (you could see it coming miles off) and there were still people on the streets, and cars driving around like normal (I don't think so). Cruise is a bit of an adrenalin junkie.

For the scene outside the hotel in Dubai, you have to not be afraid of heights or have vertigo because it is a very jarring or breathtaking experience depending on your viewpoint.

What this movie has is a great sense of fun and adventure. It doesn't take itself seriously, and just invites us along for the ride.

Great movie entertainment.

Sherlock:A Game Of Shadows

Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law back together again. Yipppee or more likely zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz which is exactly what I did. I slept through most of the movie.

I don't like the central premise for this Sherlock Holmes - using his superior intellect to be able to perform amazing physical feats - especially in relation to fighting. You've seen one scene where Sherlock has overanalysed the situation and we have slo mo of what will happen and why, you have seen them all.

I find Prof Moriarty gross as with the digital and closeups, I expect to see food in his beard.

Robert Downey and Jude Law may love their bromance, but it bores me to sleep.

The Thing - 2011

Ok, so against my better judgement I went to see the prequel this morning. A bit of a difference from my cinemagoing experience yesterday. There were no bloody up and down teens.

This Thing has a lot to live up to because I love the 1982 version. I love the hokey special effects of the "original" especially the head turning over on itself and sprouting spider's legs, and of course the comment "you have got to be f*ing kidding me".

I was bored. I was so bored, I spent time writing my review as the movie was playing. I realise it is against the Mayo and Kermode code of conduct, but needs must.

The first thing I was thinking about let's see how many horror movie rules this one will break.

You find an alien encrusted in ice - what do you do? The right answer is you walk away and leave it. Your enterprising/pioneering spirit will get you killed.

So you ignore rule 1 and remove the alien from it's resting place, take a sample and the ice begins to melt. You also have a huge cast of characters. Everyone is expendable. Time to lose a few people. We need a manageable number, so that the audience can keep up and build some sort of rapport with those left.

Never travel solo - I mean really, have you people learned nothing. You will be dying very violently as well.

Confine the beast because just because you think it's dead, doesn't mean it is. Actually it never is. The idiot leader needs to be sacrificed first because you can then turn the other "sheep" around to your way of thinking very easily - i.e., get the hell out of there.

If you think a certain action is wrong, of course it is. Why would you want to go outside in the freezing cold to look for something that isn't human. Never go to frozen, cold places unless you're a penguin or a polar bear.

Alien cells are always stronger. Just because humans allegedly have brains does not mean they always exercise good judgement.

When you turn on each other, all is lost. The alien can just sit back, take up the popcorn and wait for you all to kill each other.

Why didn't our heroine freeze to death when she went outside to flag the helicopter down with no coat on?

The person giving you information is always deflecting and will always be one that has been infected.

When did it become acceptable to "kill the Americans?"

How do you go from paleontologist to leader/killer in six easy steps? Watch Alien movies and try to channel your inner Ripley.

If you were an alien, surely you could mutate into something that found it easier to get around rather than something that sort of walked on four hands.

My, that grenade that rolled about a million miles away would be very handy right now, wouldn't it?

And if you can believe it, the special effects are rubbish. I mean total, stupid garbage. The only scene that was even mildly interesting was when two men merged into one. It looked really painful, but that's it.

Final scenes - sequel anyone?

Hugo

Hugo is Martin Scorsese's tribute to film and filmmaking. It is ostensibily a children's movie, but I seriously think children and especially teenagers should be banned from this film. They just don't get it. My teenaged son, who went with me, thought it was a lovely looking film, and moderately interesting, but he got lost and didn't understand Hugo's motivation.

I, on the other hand, who has seen three period pieces in a row, saw from the opening frame that this was a craftsman's film. Paris in the 1920s is so detailed and beautiful that your eyes just eat up the scenery. Sometimes it is hard to focus on what is going on on screen for what is happening and just is, in the background.

Hugo (Asa Butterfield heartbreaking in the Boy In The Striped Pyjamas) has these beautiful, wonderous, innocent big eyes that are so expressive. He loses his father (Jude Law) and is taken into "care" by his uncle Claude (Ray Winstone) who mends clocks. Claude disappears, but Hugo continues to live in a Paris train station and mend the clocks. He has a book of his father's which details the automaton he is working on.

Hugo runs into Mr. Melies (Ben Kingsley) who sees the book and takes it away from him and proceeds to taunt Hugo with when he can have it back. Mr. Melies has a granddaughter Isabelle (Chloe Moretz - Hit Girl in Kick Ass - best role EVER) who helps Hugo.

It transpires that Mr. Melies used to direct films before WWI, but finds that he is left behind when soldiers who have seen the horrors of the world are not interested in his movies anymore. He gives up filmmaking and burns most of his sets, film stock, etc. It is heartbreaking.

What then follows is a loving journey tracing the birth of film.

Martin Scorsese has an interesting cast of characters including Sacha Baron Cohen as the Stationmaster with a mean Doberman, Emily Mortimer as the flower seller he is in love with. Madame Emily and Monsieur Frick also have a lovely subplot.

You know that it will all end happily, but the film doesn't half lead you on a merry dance to get there.

Take your children if you must, but better to leave them at home and go and see Hugo at an evening show in 2D - no need for 3D.

P.S. I've just listened to Kermode and Mayo's film reviews, and I may go and see Hugo again in 3D as it appears this is an integral part of the story.

The Awakening

I love the way I came to see The Awakening. I was probably going to see it anyway, but I put out a tweet which said My Week With Marilyn, Dream House or The Awakening, and wouldn't you know it, the director Nick Murphy tweeted me back and said guess which film I'd recommend. I thought well you can't get better than that, not only someone with a personal interest, but someone who takes time out of what must be a very busy schedule to interact with me (don't care about anyone else, it is all about ME).

Sat down in my usual seat in the multiplex - there are nine screens at my local world of cine and I have a specific seat that I like to sit in all of them - always in the back row. I also love when a movie doesn't attract children and more specifically teens. Whilst there is nothing wrong with a teen at a film, a gaggle of them always ensures stupidity like kicking the back of my chair.

I settled into The Awakening because that is what you do with a good period piece. You revel in the sumptuousness of another time and allow yourself to be transported. The cinematography is stunningly beautiful - it feels velvets, tweeds and oppression - of both mind and spirit. Maybe not oppression so much as a defeated spirit needing recovery time after WWI and the pandemic of the Spanish Flu. Everyone has lost at least one someone.

Rebecca Hall is Florence Cathcart who busts bogus charlatan ghost providers. Dominic West is a Latin teacher at a boys' boarding school who needs Florence's help because it appears that a boy has been scared to death by a recurring ghost at the school. Florence meets Maud the housekeeper and the boys who all appear suitably terrified.

Florence gets to diligently setting up her wonderful equipment - trip wires, cameras with magnesium flashes, etc. One boy, Tom, constantly seeks her out and they form a relationship of sorts. All sorts of weird things happen as you would expect - the most chilling an imaginative dollhouse scene which scared the bejesus out of me. One scene is shown over from different angles, each scarier than the last until we hurtle towards the conclusion.

What I did like about this cinematic directorial debut by Mr Murphy was the score (lush), sense of horror, it didn't collapse 2/3 way through the way most horror/terror movies do - you know ratchet up the tension to where you just can't take it anymore then descends into stupid chaos as if those involved did not have the courage of their convictions to just see it through or they decided ok enough of this psychological stuff, let's bring on the special effects. The audience is treated like adults - always a plus with me.

What I didn't like - the romance - such as it was because when that happened I thought all this shit is going down in the house and you have time for a bit of hanky panky - REALLY? Maybe that's the way it is with adults or maybe it's just characters in the movies. This is the time I would normally mentally leave the picture and think oh well valiant try, better luck next time. But I just let that go, mainly because it was so brief anyway. I am sure that part of the reason for it was a joint overcoming of years of pent up grief, and sometimes sex just relieves the tension.

I admit to getting a bit confused by the whole ending - for me it's a case of I know one person didn't survive, but was that the only one and a couple of other things, but as I tweeted Mr Murphy and said when it comes to Sky, I will figure it out because for me it needs a second viewing.

I also liked that I didn't figure the whole plot out in the first act. This is sadly becoming a recurring theme when I go to the cinema and must admit that it dulls my enjoyment of most films. But I have also pointed out many a time that maybe it's because I see far too many films, and I don't have the wonder of someone who goes to the cinema four times a year or so.

Rebecca Hall is never any less than good, and in this she has a fragile strength. She is fine as long as she can "science" away the ghosts, but as soon as this fails her, she starts to unravel. I liked her in Vicky Christina Barcelona far more than I should have.

Dominic West is actually a very good actor. I say that because you see him in The Wire and he is excellent, but you can't picture him in anything else because McNulty is a classic character, until you see him in something else and he's really good. Imelda Staunton is creepy as Maud just as she was as Dolores Umbridge in the HP films. Isaac Hempstead Wright (I love my Bran Stark - Game of Thrones - the best series ever) as Tom has that haunted look that you get with children in ghost stories. He is also gorgeous looking. The kids in ghost films are either hauntingly beautiful or interesting looking (ugly).

Nick Murphy knows I'll be watching his career from here on out, and I'll bet he's terrified - no really!

One and a half thumbs up for me.

Melancholia

The lastest Lars von Trier movie. Must admit LvT does nothing for me. I've not seen many of his films and the ones I have seen, I have never mad

e it all the way through. I thought Melancholia was going to be a chore or penance in the way The Tree of Life was. How wrong I was.

You have to relax into the pace which is very luxuriously moderated, like there is all the time in the world. Ironic really. Melancholia takes place in the five days before the end of the world. We are at Kirsten Dunst's (Justine) and Alexander Skarsgaard's (Michael) wedding reception when Kirsten notices a red star in the sky and asks her brother in law (Kiefer Sutherland) about it. He tells them that the star is doing a flyby, so will be in the Earth's orbit for a few days, then go on it's merry way.

To give you an idea of the pace, the wedding takes up the first 45 minutes of the movie. During this time, the characters are established. Kirsten seems a little "off" or "sideways" to put it

mildly. It transpires that she suffers from melancholia - a non specific form of depression

which she tries to describe to various family members, but the film evokes Kirsten's feelings very well. In the beginning it seems as if Kirsten is just an ungrateful, selfish, vain cow. John Hurt is Kirsten's eccentric father and Charlotte Rampling is the aggressive, self-centred mother - amazing that she hasn't completely lost her mind. Charlotte Gainsbourg is Justine's sister Claire who holds everything together in her family. She takes care of everyone in a very measured performance.

As we move away from the party, the red star Melancholia becomes an obsession. Unlike most disaster movies, this is psychological in nature so it centres only on Justine, Claire, Kiefer and their child. It becomes more and more claustrophobic as the tension grows and Melancholia comes nearer. After day 2, the power goes out, so there is no contact with the outside world and Kiefer doesn't want to worry Claire, so tells her that the planet will reach a peak then recede away from Earth. When Claire realises that this is not the case, she becomes survivalist seeking out other people, but by then it is too late and Justine doesn't help as

she thinks this is just fate.

The film is beautifully shot and crystal clear. All the performances are excellent, but Kirsten and Charlotte G stand out. Melancholia is 2 hours and 10 minutes which is just about right - any longer and I think we would have all started to feel suicidal as the mood infects the audience as well. It draws us all in and in the end, we want Melancholia to hit, so that we can have some release.

Super 8

Saw this with my 13 year old son.

It sort of worked for me and it didn't work for him at all. He thought it was boring.

Set in late 70s, certainly after StarWars, it was clearly JJ Abrams' homage to Steven Spielberg's ET and Close Encounters of the Third Kind plus others like the Goonies.

Very nostalgic, and if I didn't know it was a JJ Abrams movie, I would have thought it was directed by rather than produced by Steven.

A group of friends is making a movie over the summer, and are out filming one night when they see a train wreck which is swiftly followed by the army taking over the site and their town. It becomes very apparent that there is something very sinister out there that the army want to contain. This has been captured on the film.

There are some funny lines like "can I have my film developed in 24 hours" "no one can do that, the best I can do is three days on a rush". "What are you listening to?" "It's a walkman, you can listen to your cassettes." "People wandering around with personal stereos, it's the thin end of the wedge, you mark my words".

The teens in the screen looked at some of the things and said what is that, and you realise how far we have come in terms of technology.

If I had seen Super 8 in 1978, I would have thought it was amazing. Children these days are so blase about special effects. If it isn't fast and very pacy, they get bored. That doesn't bode well for movies in the future.

Elle Fanning literally burned up the screen when she was on it. She was amazing. Definitely one to watch!

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America has a very retro feel, not old fashioned, just retro. It evokes 1940s wartime really well. I loved the dirigibles in the London skies and the slightly muted colours and the deliciously demonic evil Red Skull who is too evil even for the Nazis.

Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) is unfit for duty for the Army. He desperately wants to fight for his country. Dr Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) sees something more in him and Steve becomes a guinea pig in Project Rebirth which enables Steve to use his maximum human potential. It basically means that the good in you is magnified and the inverse is equally true.

What then follows is good guys fighting bad guys and a very interesting ending. You get all the usual suspects, and the continuity is great. I love the way Samuel L Jackson keeps turning up in cameos, cannot wait until The Avengers next year.

It was a very authentic adaptation, but it didn't emotionally engage me at all. I'm not a Captain America fan, but my 13 year old son seemed to like it well enough (his favourite is still Thor).

Please stay until after the end credits as you get another teaser for The Avengers featuring Nick Fury, Thor, Howard Stark, Hawkeye and Black Widow.

Tree Of Life

I have tried to write the review for Tree Of Life for a couple of weeks now. Well actually.....no I really haven’t, I tried for a couple of days, then gave up, now I’m coming back to it.

When the film was over, the first words out of my mouth were "Oh Thank God!" just a little too loudly!

I've now read a bit more about Terrence Malick and it seems that this was autobiographical or at least semi, in which case, he is trying to make sense of his youngest brother's death. TM had an overbearing father who sent his youngest son to Spain to study gutar with Segovia, who apparently was a legendary cruel taskmaster. TM's brother broke both his own hands and his father asked TM to go over to Spain to help youngest brother and TM refused. TM's father went over and returned with his youngest brother's body. Therefore TM wasn't there when his brother needed him most.

The first hour especially and indeed the entire film was visually stunning. It was like a perfect mood board to set up the story, but the film then just stalled. Just like that.

Didn't really matter whether story was linear or non, there really wasn't much being told here only implied. Give the audience its due, we tried, REALLY HARD to stick with it, and no one walked out which I know has happened in other screenings.

I quite accept we are all part of (a) tree(s) of life, and our place on that tree draws together the interdependence through the tree down to the roots and searching for a meaning of what happens to us through memories can be incredibly painful/daunting. The meaning of life might that in God’s grand plan, nothing matters much or one ripple creates a butterfly effect. You're here, then you're not, your people mourn, reflect, reminisce, get on with it or don’t.

But really, Terence Malick is well educated who makes lovely films and should have been able to finish off The Tree Of Life without having the audience scratch its collective bemused head and be pleased the 'ordeal' was over.

A woman in my screening asked me if I understood the meaning, and I just shrugged my shoulders, shook my head and thought here is another 2 1/2 hours of my life I will never get back. And that sucks!

Or maybe I’m just completely missing the point which is quite possible. In that case, nevermind!

Wild Target

Didn't get to see Letters to Juliet. I went instead to see the above.

It was a charming movie. I thought it was charming Saturday morning movie with Emily Blount, Bill Nighy and a very grown up looking Rupert Grint. Rupert Everett was also in it looking very grown up.

Story: Bill Nighy is a very accomplished assassin (his father gave him a Baretta for his seventh birthday). Emily Blount orchestrates art fraud against Rupert Everett, and he doesn't like it one bit. He hires Bill Nighy to kill Emily which he tries, then doesn't do. Rupert Grint gets caught up in this and even Rab C. Nesbitt turns up.

This is another film that makes London look absolutely stunning as it races around the city.

Bill Nighy's mother steals the show completely!

Shrek Forever After

I went to see it this morning in preview. I thought it was very good.

Shrek has a happy life and doesn't appreciate it. He then make a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to have a day where things were the way they used to be. Shrek's part of the bargain is that he has to give Rumpelstiltskin a day back from his childhood. Shrek says take whichever day you like...Rump takes the date of his birth, so if Shrek doesn't make Fiona fall in love with him by sunrise, he will cease to exist.

All the favourite characters back - Donkey, Puss (in need of WLR) without his boots, the Gingerbread Man, the Dragon (Donkey's Mrs.), Pinocchio, The Big Bad Wolf, The Three Little Pigs, etc. The use of music is great again. The kids will love it

It was in 3D, and again it didn't really make a difference to me.

Bring on Eclipse in previews next weekend, at least it isn't in 3D.

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

I loved it.

Bella still wants to become a sparkly vamp ASAP, whilst Edward and the Cullen family would like her to wait and experience some of life - ah the folly of youth!

Edward and Bella to and fro on when he will make her stone cold. The date is set for 13th August. Victoria (Dallas Bryce Howard not a patch on Rachelle Lefevre, the original flame-haired bloodsucker) is desperate for revenge because of James being ripped apart an bbqed in the Twilight. She creates an army of newborns who are very, very strong and bloodthirsty led by Riley Biers.

Meanwhile, back at Forks, Edward and Jacob (neck too long, but I still would *snaps out of reverie*) are trying to be all alpha male over Bella. Edward wants Bella to make an informed choice, and Jacob is eager for Bella to admit that she loves him. Bella for her part takes a much more active role in this film than she did in the other ones (thank goodness). Exploring repressed feelings for Jacob whilst at the same time becoming more and more sure that the choice she is about to make is the right one, I actually liked Bella for the first time.

This is all played against a disapproving father, the army getting stronger, cross-species cooperation, and great back stories (Rosalie, Jasper and the wolves).

The battle scene is very, very good. I love the way the vampires kill each other - it isn't all blood and guts. What I didn't realise in the second movie is that the wolves are soooooooo huge. When Jacob (with fur) stands next to Bella, you get an idea of the size, but you also get the complexities of the relationship.

There wasn't nearly enough of Esme this time, and that is a shame or much of the Cullens either except in very junior supporting roles. The exception to this is Jasper, who takes much more of the lead and trains the vampires and wolves to work together. I would happily see Alice have her own spin-off she is great.

The scenery of Washington state is lush. The contrast between the hot-blooded wolves and the cold-blooded vampires is very evident with the tanned skin, and the passion Jacob feels for Bella, along with the tensions brewing within the den of wolves. The Cullens are much more restrained.

The triangle is so well nuanced with the right amount of jokiness, rivalry and deep emotions. The scene where Edward turns Bella over to Jacob for protection by kissing her longer and deeper than normal and Jacob receives Bella by giving her a big bear, protective hug which is all done for the benefit of the other male.

The funniest moment is when Jacob tries to kiss Bella and she tries to punch him in his face, and winds up spraining her arm very badly.

This movie is 123 minutes long, and it certainly does feel like it. There are parts that dip and had me wondering such as being told in New Moon that Jasper was the newest vampire and therefore still the most vulnerable to the blood, and then in this one prove to be so wise and knowing especially once we see his backstory and realise that he isn't the youngest of the group, Emmett is. Bella sprains her arm and has it bandaged by Carlo, but not even a day later, she has no bandage on her hand when she is being hauled up to the campsite.

There were other little niggly bits as well, but none of it detracts from what I think is a fantastic, modern vampire/wolf battle of wills love story.

What makes this series is the lead actors - Jake, Edward and Bella play this absolutely straight and I feel that they have grown into the roles naturally.

Inception

I loved it. It is now my third favourite film of all time

It was very difficult to follow at the beginning. Reminded me a lot of Shutter Island (which I didn't like). What a cast of characters - Leo di Caprio, Tom Hardy "don't be afraid to dream a bit bigger darling", Ellen Page, Michael Caine, Marion Cottillard, Tom Berenger, Cillian Murphy, Lukas Haas and Pete Posthelthwaite.

Leonardo di Caprio specialises in taking secrets from people's dreams, but has a lot of secrets of his own. That is about all I can say before it starts to get really convoluted and goes down a maze. It was very atmospheric. The dream worlds were interesting, but not in a What Dreams May Come or Lovely Bones Way which was more surreal. More to come as I give it some proper thought.

The Karate Kid

I went to see this today, and didn't hold out much hope.

I was very pleasantly surprised.

Dre (Jaden Smith) and his mom Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) move from Detroit to Beijing for an unnamed transfer job. They wind up in a flat with Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) as the maintenance man.

Dre is bullied by a kung fu student Cheng whose master teaches them no pain, no weakness and no mercy. You can see where this is going. There is an ongoing struggle with Cheng. Dre is eventually trained by Mr. Han to fight Cheng in a Kung Fu competition.

It is very long at 139 minutes. It could have used a better editor.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

We are in Florida at the moment and took the kids to see this.

We all really, really enjoyed it.

Nicolas Cage is Balthazar, who along with Horvath and Veronica were Merlin's apprentices until Horvath falls in with Morgana le Fay to betray Merlin. Morgana and Veronica get into a fight, and Veronica to save Balthazar takes Morgana's spirit into her own body and is imprisoned by a grimhold.

Long story short, Balthazar finds Dave (Jay Baruchel) as his apprentice to fight off Horvath and save Manhattan. There are homages to other movies - always love to see Star Wars references - "you don't need to see his faculty ID" "these are not the droids you are looking for".

The dancing mops scene from Fantasia is in there and is very good.

My kids are 12 and 15 and they enjoyed equally as much as I did.

Salt

Angelina Jolie's latest vehicle that Tom Cruise was supposed have the lead role in. I thought it was very solid entertainment. Ange was very competent and believable in the role of Evelyn Salt, who is accused of being a Russian spy by a Russian defector. She pleads her innocence, but is not believed.

Salt then escapes before she can be interrogated, and hokey, fun, rollercoaster mayhem ensues. There are lots of twists and turns, which I must admit that I saw coming. Her co-star is Liev Schreiber, who is also very good, but must stop being typecast by choosing a different type of role.

If you want some interesting stunts and not too heavy on the brain cells, give this film a go.

The Girl Who Played With Fire

I saw it earlier today and thought it was very good. It stands alone as a film, so you don't necessarily have to have seen the first one, although it hurts. When you see this movie, it is no wonder that Lisbeth Salander is the way she is. She has had a f*cked up upbringing, and the abuse she suffered is horrific. It is again very atmospheric (meaning Sweden looks dirty and depressing).

Noomi Rapace is absolutely amazing in this role, and I love Michael Nyqvist as the journalist.