The Darkest Hour 2D

The dullest movie in any D.

The end.

Top Films 2011

1. Melancholia

2. Senna

3.Troll Hunter

4. The Guard

5. Rise Of the Planet Of The Apes

6. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

7. Friends With Benefits

8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2

9. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

10. The Adjustment Bureau

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - David Fincher version

Taken as a stand alone film, it is excellent. Taken as a remake of the original Swedish version, it is ok, not great. It is difficult, if you have seen the original not to compare the two. There are many scenes which are taken almost directly from the original.

What I really didn't like is the sentimentality of the remake, although I have been told that this is in the book. Lisbeth is such a strong, uncompromising character because of what has happened to her, I find it very difficult to believe Lisbeth would think that Blomqvist was the answer to her issues, even briefly.

Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara are excellent as is Skarsgaard. I do hope they decide to make the other two films otherwise it feels like a damp squib.

If you haven't seen the Swedish version, I think you will enjoy more.

Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol

I do like the Mission Impossible films - don't like Tom Cruise mind you, but he does understand the franchise, and oh that music!

Mission Impossible at the IMAX is almost orgasmic. If I could afford to and they made each film for IMAX, I would watch every single movie there. Gone are the days of needing those 3D type glasses. It is such an immersive experience, I felt myself being drawn into each scene. I could almost smell the places in the film - Budapest, Moscow, Dubai - simply marvellous. I am gushing.

Oh how I want to see Inception at the IMAX.

Anyhoo back to the story. I don't really remember what the story was about - something to do with the Kremlin and a bomb for some extraneous reason.

The interaction between Cruise, Simon Pegg (my boys were laughing hysterically at his scenes), Jeremy Renner (excellent) and Paula Patton (the scenes with Anil Kapoor are hysterical) made for a nice ensemble cast.

You have to suspend disbelief, but that does have a limit - the sandstorm hits (you could see it coming miles off) and there were still people on the streets, and cars driving around like normal (I don't think so). Cruise is a bit of an adrenalin junkie.

For the scene outside the hotel in Dubai, you have to not be afraid of heights or have vertigo because it is a very jarring or breathtaking experience depending on your viewpoint.

What this movie has is a great sense of fun and adventure. It doesn't take itself seriously, and just invites us along for the ride.

Great movie entertainment.

Sherlock:A Game Of Shadows

Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law back together again. Yipppee or more likely zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz which is exactly what I did. I slept through most of the movie.

I don't like the central premise for this Sherlock Holmes - using his superior intellect to be able to perform amazing physical feats - especially in relation to fighting. You've seen one scene where Sherlock has overanalysed the situation and we have slo mo of what will happen and why, you have seen them all.

I find Prof Moriarty gross as with the digital and closeups, I expect to see food in his beard.

Robert Downey and Jude Law may love their bromance, but it bores me to sleep.

The Thing - 2011

Ok, so against my better judgement I went to see the prequel this morning. A bit of a difference from my cinemagoing experience yesterday. There were no bloody up and down teens.

This Thing has a lot to live up to because I love the 1982 version. I love the hokey special effects of the "original" especially the head turning over on itself and sprouting spider's legs, and of course the comment "you have got to be f*ing kidding me".

I was bored. I was so bored, I spent time writing my review as the movie was playing. I realise it is against the Mayo and Kermode code of conduct, but needs must.

The first thing I was thinking about let's see how many horror movie rules this one will break.

You find an alien encrusted in ice - what do you do? The right answer is you walk away and leave it. Your enterprising/pioneering spirit will get you killed.

So you ignore rule 1 and remove the alien from it's resting place, take a sample and the ice begins to melt. You also have a huge cast of characters. Everyone is expendable. Time to lose a few people. We need a manageable number, so that the audience can keep up and build some sort of rapport with those left.

Never travel solo - I mean really, have you people learned nothing. You will be dying very violently as well.

Confine the beast because just because you think it's dead, doesn't mean it is. Actually it never is. The idiot leader needs to be sacrificed first because you can then turn the other "sheep" around to your way of thinking very easily - i.e., get the hell out of there.

If you think a certain action is wrong, of course it is. Why would you want to go outside in the freezing cold to look for something that isn't human. Never go to frozen, cold places unless you're a penguin or a polar bear.

Alien cells are always stronger. Just because humans allegedly have brains does not mean they always exercise good judgement.

When you turn on each other, all is lost. The alien can just sit back, take up the popcorn and wait for you all to kill each other.

Why didn't our heroine freeze to death when she went outside to flag the helicopter down with no coat on?

The person giving you information is always deflecting and will always be one that has been infected.

When did it become acceptable to "kill the Americans?"

How do you go from paleontologist to leader/killer in six easy steps? Watch Alien movies and try to channel your inner Ripley.

If you were an alien, surely you could mutate into something that found it easier to get around rather than something that sort of walked on four hands.

My, that grenade that rolled about a million miles away would be very handy right now, wouldn't it?

And if you can believe it, the special effects are rubbish. I mean total, stupid garbage. The only scene that was even mildly interesting was when two men merged into one. It looked really painful, but that's it.

Final scenes - sequel anyone?

Hugo

Hugo is Martin Scorsese's tribute to film and filmmaking. It is ostensibily a children's movie, but I seriously think children and especially teenagers should be banned from this film. They just don't get it. My teenaged son, who went with me, thought it was a lovely looking film, and moderately interesting, but he got lost and didn't understand Hugo's motivation.

I, on the other hand, who has seen three period pieces in a row, saw from the opening frame that this was a craftsman's film. Paris in the 1920s is so detailed and beautiful that your eyes just eat up the scenery. Sometimes it is hard to focus on what is going on on screen for what is happening and just is, in the background.

Hugo (Asa Butterfield heartbreaking in the Boy In The Striped Pyjamas) has these beautiful, wonderous, innocent big eyes that are so expressive. He loses his father (Jude Law) and is taken into "care" by his uncle Claude (Ray Winstone) who mends clocks. Claude disappears, but Hugo continues to live in a Paris train station and mend the clocks. He has a book of his father's which details the automaton he is working on.

Hugo runs into Mr. Melies (Ben Kingsley) who sees the book and takes it away from him and proceeds to taunt Hugo with when he can have it back. Mr. Melies has a granddaughter Isabelle (Chloe Moretz - Hit Girl in Kick Ass - best role EVER) who helps Hugo.

It transpires that Mr. Melies used to direct films before WWI, but finds that he is left behind when soldiers who have seen the horrors of the world are not interested in his movies anymore. He gives up filmmaking and burns most of his sets, film stock, etc. It is heartbreaking.

What then follows is a loving journey tracing the birth of film.

Martin Scorsese has an interesting cast of characters including Sacha Baron Cohen as the Stationmaster with a mean Doberman, Emily Mortimer as the flower seller he is in love with. Madame Emily and Monsieur Frick also have a lovely subplot.

You know that it will all end happily, but the film doesn't half lead you on a merry dance to get there.

Take your children if you must, but better to leave them at home and go and see Hugo at an evening show in 2D - no need for 3D.

P.S. I've just listened to Kermode and Mayo's film reviews, and I may go and see Hugo again in 3D as it appears this is an integral part of the story.